did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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