She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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