Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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