addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
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think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
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My boob is missing a layer of skin
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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