Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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