Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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