Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't notice because vodka
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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