i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize