I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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