No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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