Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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