when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I understand Curling. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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