why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize