that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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