i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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