I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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