Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
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Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
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So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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