someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize