I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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