I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
she peed on how many people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize