It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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