There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize