Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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