Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
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Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
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& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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