Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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