oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize