Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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