she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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