I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
This house was built for laser tag.
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i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
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The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
i think i just lost a toe
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