he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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