i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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