I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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