I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
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Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
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I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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