laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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