Apparently you make a good broom.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
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