Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
farters have to be the big spoon...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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