How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
honey bunches of taint.
this just has baby written all over it
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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