'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize