After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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