At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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