you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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