Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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