Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize