dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize