I cannot find my penis.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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