I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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