I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize