Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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