yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
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It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
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Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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