State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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