Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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