I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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